Stages of Getting Over Kurt Hummel
by Atolia
Summary: After the breakup in New York, Blaine returns to Lima to try and move on with his life. It's a new year, some new friends and potentially a new love. And maybe some time to fix things that went wrong last year. past-Blaine/Kurt, Blaine/Others. Minor spoilers for 4X04 "The Breakup".
1. Chapter 1: The Break Up

**Title:** Stages of Getting Over Kurt Hummel

**Author:** Atolia

**Word Count: **

**Rating:** T

**Pairings:** Blaine/Kurt, Blaine/OMC (multiple), Blaine/Warblers (platonic)

**Warnings: **Minor spoilers for "The Breakup" included

**Summary:** After they break up in New York, Blaine figures out a way to move on with his life. A new year brings new friends, new journeys and maybe a new love.

**Chapter 1: The Break Up**

Blaine means to take it back when he goes to New York. He knows Kurt expects it as they sit next to Finn and Rachel in a fancy restaurant. But Blaine realizes with a sinking feeling, that he doesn't belong here. New York, which has been their dream for so long, is not the city for him. Sure, he likes the freedom he has to hold Kurt's hand in public, but he hates the constant rush of the city and endless steel structures that make him feel tiny and insignificant. This isn't the first time Blaine's been to the city, (his father owns an apartment in the city that Blaine visits every now and then just to escape the humdrum of Ohio), but this is the first time Blaine feels just as trapped in the city as he does in the corridors of McKinley.

It's Kurt that suggests the walk in Battery Park, and it's private enough to suit Blaine's purposes. He knows that Kurt expects them both to apologize for their mistakes on this walk and promise to try harder until they can be together again. But Blaine finally realizes that he will never be happy living in this city. The city that is the completion of Kurt's dreams. He finally understands why most high school sweethearts don't make it. It isn't the love, because he loves Kurt just as much as he always has. His heart aches just looking at Kurt looking so perfect under the streetlamps. No, it isn't the love. It's the dreams. And as much as Blaine wants to forget them, to force himself to be happy here with Kurt, he knows he will never succeed. This isn't his place.

"Blaine?" Kurt asks.

Blaine hadn't realized he'd stopped walking.

"Blaine, I know you're mad. I'm sorry, baby. I promise I'll do better to make our Skype dates. The internship is just a little crazy now. It'll settle out."

It would be so easy to just nod, and say his own apologies and not say anything about it at all. So easy to just go back to pretending that everything is fine. But Blaine doesn't want to drag this on further. Doesn't want to wind up resenting Kurt. Doesn't want to wind up hating him.

"I think we should break up," he blurts.

Kurt's eyes widen. "No! It's just a rough patch, Blaine. We can work this out, okay? It's just a few more months, and we'll be together again."

Blaine takes a deep breath and confesses, "I'm not coming to New York, Kurt." And Kurt says nothing, just gapes at him. "It's not here, Kurt. I'm not meant to be here." And he knows Kurt understands what he means by the broken look in his eyes. "I still love you-."

"Stop! Just stop!"

And Kurt turns on his heel and walks quickly away. Blaine calls after him, but Kurt doesn't stop, and he doesn't look back. Part of Blaine wants to go after Kurt, and keep explaining, to tell Kurt that he wishes with all his heart he could love the city too. A larger part of him knows that this isn't the time, and he will only hurt Kurt more. So he turns away and walks back the way they came, tracing his own footprints on the ground. Kurt will undoubtedly call Rachel, who will make sure he gets home safely. Blaine fingers the key to his father's apartment. He'd brought it in case he and Kurt had wanted some privacy after they'd talked about their fight. Now, he thinks, he just wants to be alone. So he calls Finn and unsurprisingly gets his voicemail.

"Hey, Finn, it's Blaine," he says, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. "I'm going to stay at my dad's apartment tonight. I'll see you tomorrow for our flight back home. Bye."

He exits the park and hails a cab. Going back to the apartment is an out of body experience. Blaine thinks his heart should be crushing itself, but instead he feels strangely free. He knows he'll feel much worse in the morning, but for now, he relishes the relief of finally getting a secret off his chest. The doorman knows Blaine from his previous trips, and this isn't the first time he's shown up here alone, so he has no problem getting buzzed into the building. He goes up to the penthouse and collapses on the queen sized bed in the guest room. Blaine glances out the window at the bright city lights. Somewhere out there is Kurt, and Blaine knows he's hurting right now, but Kurt is tough, and he'll find someone who can share his dreams in the city. Blaine turns back to look at the ceiling and lets out a lungful of air he didn't know he was holding.

**A/N: Short first chapter. They'll get longer as I go. More information about the Klaine breakup to follow in later chapters. **


	2. Chapter 2: Return to Lima

**Title:** Stages of Getting Over Kurt Hummel

**Author:** Atolia

**Word Count: **

**Rating:** T

**Pairings:** Blaine/Kurt, Blaine/OMC

**Summary:** After they break up in New York, Blaine figures out a way to move on with his life. A new year brings new friends, new journeys and maybe a new love.

**Chapter Two: Back to Lima **

Finn doesn't talk to him on the plane, so Blaine knows that the news of the breakup has gotten out. And if Finn knows, Rachel knows, and if they know, everyone knows. Finn would have told Puck, who would have told Quinn, who would have told Santana, who would have told Brittany. When they land, Finn declines his offer of a ride, deciding to call Burt to pick him up instead. Blaine's heart nearly stops when he realizes that Burt and Carol probably don't want to see him anymore. He's lost the family he'd carefully cultivated over the past year. He turns his phone back on, and ignores the few text messages that pop up, and drives home in silence. He had been right the night before; it feels a little bit like his insides are collapsing in on themselves.

There's no one home when he gets back, so he throws his bag on the nearest chair and stomps up the stairs to his room. He wants to collapse on his bed and sleep forever, but he remembers that he has a few more things to take care of. He logs onto Facebook first. He isn't surprised to find his relationship status now says "In a Relationship" instead of "In a Relationship With Kurt Hummel". He clicks away and changes it quickly to "Single". Then he types "Kurt Hummel" in the search bar, and clicks on Kurt's profile picture. But instead of his wall, Blaine is met with his profile picture and a note saying "Kurt Hummel only shares certain information with his friends". Kurt unfriended him on Facebook.

Blaine stares at the words until they become a black mass on a bright screen. He had considered the fact that Kurt might not want to talk to him after they broke up, but being face to face with it was even worse. So he puts the laptop back on his desk and curls up in bed without even taking off his shoes and goes to sleep. When he wakes up, he forces himself to get back on Facebook and check again. But Kurt's profile still reads the same message. He clicks numbly on the link that will bring him back to his own wall. No one has liked the change in relationship status, but none of the comments under it are from McKinley students. Blaine doesn't bother to read the messages, which are from Cooper, and strangely enough, some old Warbler friends. He knows what this means. The rest of the Glee club will tolerate his presence and acknowledge that they don't need to kill him, but they were all Kurt's friends first, and they will be loyal to him. And Blaine will be alone.

School, is, as Blaine predicts, terrible. The remaining Glee club members treat him with a cool politeness. And while he appreciates the company of the newer members, it doesn't sooth the ache of losing the friends he had made. Mike makes it a little better, by calling during Blaine's free period and offering his sympathy, knowing where Blaine is now. But he's still alone, facing the ghosts of his relationship every time he passes Kurt's old locker or steps into the choir room. He sits alone at lunch too. Blaine knows that the others haven't exiled him, and that he's still welcome to sit at the Glee club's table, but he doesn't want to spend anymore time sitting on the edge, feeling awkward.

By the end of the day, Blaine is regretting leaving his boxing equipment at home, because he could go a few rounds with the heavy bag today. Instead, he gets in his car, drives home and trudges up the driveway. He expects to go up to his room and finish his homework and go to bed at seven to avoid wallowing in his own self-pity. He doesn't expect to find a boy in a dark gray peacoat sitting on his porch. Blaine stops in his tracks and the other boy looks up and smiles.

"Hey, Blay!"

"Daniel?" Blaine blinks. "What are you doing here?"

Daniel had been the lead soloist when Blaine had joined the Warblers his freshman year. But the last he'd heard, Daniel had packed his bags, moved to California and never looked back.

"I heard you've been having a rough week." Daniel frowns. "You haven't replied to anyone on Facebook."

"So you caught a plane from California?"

"Well…no. I've been in Ohio for a few weeks now. I'm taking a year off. Alice has been having a tough time lately, so I'm spending the year at home with her."

Alice was Daniel's little sister. She had been diagnosed with cancer Blaine's freshmen year.

"I haven't seen Alice much," Blaine confesses.

Not every week, like he had back when he and Daniel had been attached at the hip. Not after Daniel had graduated and never looked back. Just like Kurt hadn't.

"I know. She misses you, you know. Still asks me about you."

Blaine doesn't know what to say to that, so he just nods, and moves past Daniel to unlock the front door.

"What do you want, Daniel?"

"I just thought I'd come check in. You haven't exactly stayed in touch with the rest of the guys."

"Yeah, well, neither have you," Blaine snaps, before he can stop himself. "Besides, the last time I tried to keep in touch with the guys, I got eye surgery."

Daniel is probably the only person who wouldn't be surprised by the sudden hostility in Blaine's voice. He knows better than anyone, the anger that snaps easily and frequently under Blaine's skin. And he isn't surprised.

"Yeah, the guys told me about that. Well, you weren't the nicest to them either, Blay."

And the words about Daniel avoiding the part about himself die on Blaine's lips.

"Excuse me?"

"Well come on, Blaine," Daniel starts. And Blaine knows he's serious by the way he uses Blaine's whole name. "You left them in the middle of the year, ignored them for most of the time after that and then showed up to insult them when they performed for you."

"That wasn't what happened," Blaine protests immediately. "Kurt was _right there_. They never should have let Sebastian perform that song. It was disrespectful to my relationship."

"You mean the relationship you dropped all your friends for? You can't really blame them for not caring."

Blaine opens his mouth to protest, but really, what's the point? Daniel has never been one to back down.

"Still charming as ever," he drawls sarcastically instead.

Daniel takes a step towards Blaine, until Blaine has to tilt his head back and look up at him.

"Still running, I see."

And Blaine sees red. "Fuck you," he snarls, slamming the door in Daniel's face.

He stays there on the other side of the door, listening to Daniel's steps and the starting of his car as he pulls away. And Blaine knows that even though he is _furious_ right now, he'll be calling Daniel in a day to apologize, because _God_ is Daniel right.

Blaine stomps up the stairs to his room and nearly screams in frustration when he finds all the pictures of Kurt he hasn't had a chance to take down. He's furious, and sad and _lonely_ and a hundred other things he can't deal with right now. So he tosses himself on his bed and goes to sleep without getting anything done.

**A/N: More to come on Blaine's feelings about the breakup and Kurt's feelings about it as well. While Kurt won't be a huge part of this story (in person), he will make his appearances. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Stages of Getting Over Kurt Hummel

**Author:** Atolia

**Warnings:** A little swearing. Mentions of past violence and homophobia.

**Rating:** T

**Pairings:** Blaine/Kurt, Blaine/OMC

**Summary:** After they break up in New York, Blaine figures out a way to move on with his life. A new year brings new friends, new journeys and maybe a new love.

**Chapter 3: The Soccer Team **

Blaine is probably the most awake person in school the next day, which is probably why he's so good at avoiding Jacob Ben Isreal and his stupid camera. Blaine has the inexplicable urge to smash that stupid camera in front of the little twerp and laugh while his beady little eyes water with tears for his dearest possession. Blaine hasn't been this angry in a long time. Not since the Sadie Hawkins Dance his first freshmen year. And how unfair is that? If some assholes hadn't decided it would be _funny_ to put him in the hospital, he could have graduated with Kurt. Could have gone with him when he left for the city before he'd gotten all these stupid ideas about being happy somewhere else.

Blaine sits alone at lunch again. But he doesn't stay long. There are a group of boys at another table looking at him and whispering. He'll have to go back to sitting with the Glee club kids and ride out the awkward silence. But, he decides, he'll start that tomorrow. Instead, Blaine wanders out to the athletic fields and heads up into the stands. It's a pretty nice day out for being the fall, and Blaine is fine basking in the sun and finishing his sandwich. Actually, he's not. Because three rows down is where he and Kurt watched football together for the first time. And he can't help but feel the absence of anyone at his side. He checks his watch. There are still fifteen minutes in the period, so Blaine calls Daniel.

"Hey," Daniel breathes into the phone. "I didn't think you'd call so soon."

"I'm sorry," Blaine says. "You're right, okay? I should have tried harder with the guys after I left."

"Yeah, I guess." Blaine taps his foot as he waits for Daniel to continue. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have gotten on you about the running."

Blaine sighs. "So are we good now?"

"Yeah. And no singing required," Daniel jokes on the other end. Blaine laughs too. "Hey, aren't you supposed to be in school right now?"

"I'm on lunch break. Or did you think I found someone new to skip school with?"

They both laugh at this. It's been a good three years since they'd decided to make their own school holidays, but they're still some of Blaine's favorite memories.

"Can I see you after school?" Daniel asks.

"Okay. I'll drive over to yours. I'm thinking I should probably see the guys soon, and I could use some advice."

"Oh, so you're admitting you'd take my advice?"

"I meant your mother's."

"Ouch," Daniel laughs.

"I need to go. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Bye, Blay."

Blaine hangs up and stuffs his phone back in his bag. He's got seven minutes to make it to Spanish. But as he rounds the stands to go back inside, he runs into the same group of boys he'd seen in the cafeteria.

"You're Blaine, right? Blaine Anderson?" One of the boys asks him.

Blaine nods. Obviously, they already know the answer. He checks quickly behind him. Three steps into open ground and no one in the way.

"Cool! You used to play for Dalton, right?" A smaller blond boy crows.

Blaine frowns at him.

"Soccer, Gay Hogwarts," a third boy clarifies.

This one is tall with shaggy black hair and lazy eyes. He smiles at Blaine, though and there's nothing mean about his tone.

"You were a starting forward, right?" Second boy asks.

"Uh, yeah. Played that position for two years," Blaine replies.

"You guys were really good. Played you once. You kicked our asses," First boy admits wryly.

The whole group of guys laugh.

"You should come out for the team," Second boy says.

And the entire group moves past Blaine onto the fields. Blaine freezes, waiting for the catch. He's not like Kurt. He doesn't associate jocks with homophobes, but this conversation had taken him completely off guard. They want him to try out for the team.

"Practice is at three tomorrow, Gay Hogwarts!"

And Blaine doesn't even have to turn around to know which one that is.

XXX

As it turns out, Blaine doesn't have to worry about making the soccer team. Their current starting forward can barely even stay on his own two feet. The rest of the team is pretty good. Not on the same level as Dalton, but they actually seem to like having Blaine on the team. And maybe this is what Blaine needs. At least that's what Daniel said yesterday. A way to work off the frustrated energy and a new space that was his own. That was never something he shared with Kurt. Blaine loves it.

The fourth day after the breakup, Blaine resigns himself to returning to the Glee club table. He knows he's been painting a target on his back by sitting alone these past few days. So he buys his lunch and starts over to where he can see Marley smiling up at Sam. Sam looks over and offers him a weak smile.

"Hey, Gay Hogwarts!"

And that's Matt, the tall third boy from the team waving frantically at him. Blaine lifts a hand and waves back. Matt gestures at the seat next to him and then turns away to have a conversation with Adrian, the one that had first approached him. Sam frowns, but Blaine smiles and slides into the seat beside Matt.

XXX

"You'll want to be careful," Daniel warns him the next time they hang out.

"I'm not allowed to make new friends?"

"You can do whatever you want, Blay, but it kind of seems like you're trading up. Like you don't care about them without Kurt around."

Blaine nearly chokes on his smoothie. Daniel is the only one that still casually mentions Kurt to him. Everyone else avoids the topic religiously, like the mention of ex-boyfriend will send Blaine spiraling out of control. And if he's honest, Blaine isn't sure he _won't _break down at the mention of Kurt. He still dreams of going back to New York and taking all of it back.

"Don't start choking. I'm pretty sure I don't remember the Heimlich maneuver."

Blaine throws him a baleful look. Honestly, he wonders why he still hangs out with Daniel. (When they'd become attached to each other the way they used to be.)

"So what's it like in California?" Blaine asks, instead of acknowledging the previous conversation.

"Hot," Daniel answers dryly, sipping his own drink. He grins when Blaine rolls his eyes and continues, "I think you'd love it. It's really laid-back there. Well, except around exams. Huge music scene, obviously. You'd fit right in."

And of course Daniel remembers Blaine's pathological need to find a niche. If Ohio had taught Blaine anything it was that sometimes standing out was a really bad idea. One that could lead to stitches and months of physical therapy. And if Ohio had taught Blaine anything, it was that he was really good at losing friends.

"Like I did at Dalton?" Blaine snorts.

"You did fit in at Dalton. You just fucked up a little."

"_I _fucked up a little?"

"I never said they didn't too. Just that maybe you owe a few apologies too."

"And what? You think we'll all just be fine after this?"

"Well, yeah. You say your piece, and if they want you back, they'll tell you and make their apologies."

"And if they don't?" Blaine asked in a voice much weaker than he would like to admit.

"Wouldn't be the first time, right? And you made it through that."

Blaine said nothing. Wouldn't be the first time a group of friends evaporated, Daniel was right about that. It had happened at Westerville East, at Dalton and at McKinley. Blaine knew he was hard to love. He was always intense, falling into things hard and fast. He was always too much of something. Too awkward, too out-of-place, too gay, too distant, too _Blaine_. But losing friends in the past never made losing friends in the present easier. Just more predictable.


End file.
